The lady and I spent this weekend in Baltimore. While we enjoyed having a hotel room with an enormous whirlpool and ate lots of good food - there were a few things that bothered us on this trip that made me want to spew blood, drink that blood, and spew it back up again.
The first thing was that the inner harbor, which is nestled between unkept ghettos and tucked-away minority communities, is filled with lame white tourist families and their screaming children. They are pushy, arrogant, and have plenty of money to spend. The city of Baltimore knows this (20 dollars to park, 7 dollars to breathe, 15 dollars to smile), and certainly takes advantage of it, but all of this money is definitely poured back into the 4-block area of the inner-harbor and not into the unkept neighborhoods that house the people that actually work at the inner harbor. I mean, what's more important - a giant three-fucking-story ESPN Family Fun Zone, or say, a safe, clean park for kids in Morovia to play in.
See this jackass? He works at a bar called "Howl at the Moon," an outpost of hell. Never have Nissa and I been so offended by a complete atmosphere. Every sort of "-ism" manages to infest this horrible, horrible place. Let's start with the music, there are two pianists and they know every shitty rock song written by white people since 1972. Billy Joel, Elton John, Richard Marx... anything that wouldn't offend or suggest anything slightly threatening to the all-white, mid-30s to 40s douchebag professional class, mingling with their whale spouses and drinking shitty beer like they did in college. On top of all this, the ONE black guy in the club is a bathroom attendant and the ONE asian guy is sweeping the floor. I felt nauseous that I even set foot in this place. The last straw was when the pianists found out that there was a woman's birthday party there and screamed "let's all say, happy birthday, you whore, you slut!" Which was followed by the rolly-polly gurgled laughter from the chorus of fat housewives. It wouldn't bother me so much if this piece-of-shit wasn't in the middle of such poverty, and if they didn't blatently adhere to affirmative action by shoving the minorities in the bathroom.
Driving 100 miles north on Rt.95 from Baltimore to the Delaware Memorial Bridge costs 14 dollars in tolls. Are these fucking roads paved with gold? Are the residents of Maryland working, or is this a pocket of socialism, funded by highway tolls?
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Deep Breath.
This week I:
Warned the world about the honeybee shortage!
Had the honor of writing the headlines when Fidel Castro quit.
Conceptualized a city planning awards show!
1 comment:
So depressing and so true. Bret and I are moving to Baltimore (area) in June, so we have been there several times looking for places. There was a mom there with a coach bag and fur coat walking around the harbor that I just wanted to push into the water.
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